About Me

Be alert and present and see that your identity is not from your past story;

who you truly are is the alert presence that is inseparable from the present moment.

You are this, which has no name and no form.

Eckhart Tolle

A Little Bit About Me and Who I Am

For the sake of some transparency and if you’re interested to know who is writing these blog posts, that’s me!

My friends and family know me as “Brian”.

My co-workers, recruiters, and even bill collectors call me “Hayden” or even “Dennis”.

Either way is ok with me.

This website is not really about me.

This website is about what I am learning and discovering from Science, Religion, History, Philosophy, and much more.

Reading and listening to the insights and revelations of other belief systems with an open mind has brought me immense joy and confirmation of what my heart already knows.

So many people are suffering mentally, physically, and spiritually, so I felt compelled to share what I learn using as many reliable published resources as possible.

Let’s start with my story.

My Religious Background

As far back as I know, my exposure to religious beliefs probably began in my pre-school years.

I was enrolled in a private Catholic school from the 1st grade until the 6th grade. In 2nd grade, I participated in Communion or (Eucharist) for the first time which was a part of the school curriculum.

For a few years after moving to South Florida, our family didn’t have a dedicated church, but we would still go to mainly Episcopal churches on special occasions.

I remember attending Sunday School with my neighbors at an Anglican church that was located inside an elementary school cafeteria. To me, it was fun because I would bring my dad’s Catholic Bible and in class, we read the most popular Bible stories directly from it. In Catholic school, we never read directly from the Bible.

When I was in my mid-teens my father began attending an Evangelical Church, called Abundant Life. Eventually, he would bring the whole family and it was like nothing I had ever seen before. There was a live band that led praise and worship and a fiery pastor who inspired the congregation.

After a year or more, I finally answered the altar call to proclaim myself a “Born Again” Christian.

I never felt the need to go up because I had been asking Jesus to come into my heart since Sunday School when I was 12.

The pastor would always say at the end of every service during the altar call,

“There is no such thing as a closet Christian!”

So one Sunday, I decided to go down to the front and accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior in front of the whole congregation.

A few years later, when I was 18 I left for Tulsa, Oklahoma to attend Oral Roberts University.

ORU is a non-denominational Christian school where I studied Psychology, Theology(Christian Faith), and Biology.

In my Sophomore, Junior, and Senior years of university, I participated in local outreaches in the Tulsa area, volunteered at a Children’s hospital, and a Native American Day Camp, and traveled to Juarez, Mexico for Missionary work at an orphanage during my last semester of undergrad.

After I returned to my hometown in Coral Springs, Florida, I continued working at the hospital I had been working in since I was 18 as a part-time Health Unit Secretary. (during summer and winter breaks).

After I graduated from ORU in 1994 with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology, I began working in the Psychiatric Unit at the same hospital. This floor of the hospital was also a Baker Act facility for adults, adolescents, and children in crisis. These patients could possibly show evidence of mental illness or pose a harmful threat to themselves or others.

I started on the adult unit first for a few months and was then recruited to work on the Children and Adolescents unit by their supervisor. I used to call this experience my Missionary work because it didn’t pay much and it was never easy.

These all were very inspiring and enriching experiences from my late teens to late twenties and could be considered a big part of what has shaped me.

I am very grateful for this part of my life.

However, my thoughts and beliefs regarding Christianity and Religion as a whole would inevitably change or “evolve” over those years and lead me to where I am today.

Who Am I Really?

Now, I see the above as a slight description of my story, but it doesn’t really explain “Who I Am”.

In the last few years, I’ve learned that there is a lot more to “Who I Am” than I can even begin to explain.

The story I tell about myself, to myself, and to everyone else, cannot really illustrate the depths of my being.

I know this may be a little difficult for someone who already knows me personally to understand why I would even think like this.

However, I know that if you’re visiting this site to learn something about Spirituality or Psychology, you will already have an idea of what I mean.

The reason I am explaining all of this is to give a little background about “who I am” but also to acknowledge that I know that I am not even the whole collection of my experiences.

The Definition of “I Am”

“Ehyeh asher ehyeh” in Hebrew or “I Am Who I Am” is the answer God gave Moses when Moses asked “Whom Shall I say sent me?” at the Burning Bush.

Some scholars view this answer as an evasion of the question, while at the same time, some interpret this as a simple statement of “being”. The Hebrew word “Ehyeh” comes from the first person form of “hayah” , meaning “to be”.

The linguistic and theological meaning can be debated but it is most often translated as meaning “I Am Who I Am”, “I Am That I Am” or “I Will Be Who I Will Be”.

A more commonly known version of the name of God is “Yahweh” which is a shortened version of this Hebrew phrase and expresses the quality of being or could be understood as God being the one who brings things into being.

Final Thoughts

Embracing “I Am Who I Am” opens the door to understanding the vastness of our identity beyond mere experience.

For me, this concept of “being” is a more profound way of describing who I am, than just reciting a culmination of my experiences.

Sure, my story and circumstances can shape my beliefs, and my perspectives on who I think I am, but who was I before any of those things were developed?

A baby, like a lump of clay waiting to be molded into what I am? Hmm?

I think there is much more to our existence than the stories we tell ourselves.

Can we search deeper inside for our true selves within or our higher selves beyond the physical?

Have you ever considered this?

Feel free to share your thoughts below.

No Thought,
No Concept,
No Identity,
No Personality,
No Religion,
No Country,
No I-Me-Myself,
No Me and Mine,
No Goal,
No Time,
No Search,
No Conflict,

Right Now, Right Here - I am nameless, undivided, unlimited, untouched source of life in which bodies come and go like waves in the ocean.
~Himanshu Sharma (Shunyo)

Thank you for your interest and being here.